Diversity, Inclusion, and beyond

This week, I had an inspiring event as a former colleague, a great professional, and most importantly, a friend co-hosted a podcast with me. As I was getting ready for the event, I started to really, really struggle with what to wear and how I would look.

I won’t follow all that thought train of thought and the process I went through just now, but since I wanted to talk about that topic anyway, I want to share a few thoughts and perspectives while inviting you to dedicate less than an hour to listen to our conversation.

KINDNESS

Diversity and Inclusion in your organization

Watch our conversation. if you are building your culture, you have diversity and inclusion metrics, this is for you!

Just to give a little background, I’ve always struggled with the yo-yo effect regarding my weight, highlighted after starting a role in the corporate world (my daughter was entering her 9th birthday, so no excuses there). The truth is, I always enjoyed exercising before, and now I had newly found reasons not to do so; I knew I needed to be mindful of what I eat since my genetics weren’t necessarily favoring me with my metabolism.

After being very back in shape a few years ago, I have again come up with a million excuses to indulge.

I’m getting of topic.

Anyway, as I was talking about it with my wife, and we were sharing perspectives on whether or not I should wear my favorite and very incredible Star Wars t-shirt we started to get into the “unfortunately looks are very important” discussion when it hit me. 

OF COURSE, I should wear it, and that’s how this blog came to life.

There are 2 main things EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to consider:

1. Looks and what exactly do we mean by “this is a role that needs you to look like this“ whatever this is, so you won’t get it unless you do fit that standard.
2. Do you see how we do one thing is how we do everything?

Let’s start with no. 1 and a very BIG assumption based on my experience.

People who are overweight (in this scenario) and don’t tend much to their looks aren’t overly happy on their own skin. And this is not good. FOR THEM. Not for you, not for your standards, and certainly not for doing business.

A person with the attitude, all the suitability model perfect fit, knowledge, engagement, commitment to your company, grit, resilience, and so on shouldn’t be denied an opportunity based on looks.

Let me challenge you a bit more. Are we really saying we prefer looks over capabilities? I was really going to let this one slide and go with the flow and go through all that stress that brings in my life right now to fit the standard, AGAIN.

If you judge someone or don’t give opportunities based on looks, it isn’t much different than any other form of discrimination. This brings us to no. 2

How we do one thing really IS how we do everything.

I’ve had moments, I’ll admit, that I probably judged based on looks, never related to weight, but more in terms of seeing it as inappropriate to the business or industry, like using a very short skirt while being in a manufacturing plant, or events full of engineers. Regardless of whether it’s appropriate or not, it does make me stop and reflect on one crucial thing.

TOLERANCE.

There are so many perspectives on this, that we make it hours debating, and endless podcasts episodes, all very important topics for us to continue to challenge; instead, I’ll give you my key takeaways.

1. Don’t judge! First and foremost, don’t judge yourself. It is a never-ending journey, but nothing good comes from judgment; when you remove all those labels hanging in your brain like spiderwebs, you become happier. Interestingly enough, as you work on not judging yourself, you won’t have time to judge anyone else on anything.
2. If you judge others, ask yourself, why does it bother me so much? Start peeling that onion because it really has nothing to do with anyone else but your own beliefs.
3. How you do one thing, you do everything. I will never get tired of saying this. It doesn’t mean we can’t grow and be better and change how we are doing those things, but the places you go, if you choose kindness, if you start tolerating, if you work on yourself, this will become the way you do things.
4. Rethink love, rethink love for yourself and others, for the world, for your relationships, for your work. A book with its workbook from Monica Berg can help you do just this. Use all available tools to help you with this. And you need kindness from you and those around you.
5. You won’t make everyone happy. At some point, you need to make a stand on what you value, on what’s important, on your purpose. I doubted if I should go on and beyond to fit into someone else’s definition of good presence, but the truth is, I don’t. It doesn’t mean I am happy with my physical health, nor that I won’t do anything to improve it. Still, I will do it with kindness. 
6. Being able to dedicate time and energy to amazing projects, vs. disease, have the stamina to enjoy with 5 very energetic kids (including my furry kids), my wife, and friends is one of my big rocks. I do want to choose my hard. I am aware of this, like most people we so readily judge. I will support anyone going through this or any other struggles when assumptions were not on their side because there’s not enough kindness in the world. There are people that, just like me, really struggle and all the things that come with that, anxiety, stress, negative thoughts…

Always choose kindness.

And remember, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.